I'm ready. Ready to go home. Ready to take on the world. Ready for a job, a house, a home. Ready to be in the same city as my family, my friends, my boyfriend.
I was in an interview for the Globe and Mail the other day and today was the photo shoot. I got asked a few times what I want to do when I am done, where I want to go. I was asked what I want to be and what I want to work up to being. I knew all the answers of course. I know I want to work in an agency, as a columnist, or doing freelance. I know I want to live in West Vancouver where there are still more trees then cement. I know I want to write ads, articles, a book, or in a column. And I know I want to work up to being either a creative director or my own boss.
But what I really want, and what I really need to experience before I can enjoy all of the things ahead, is to feel at home. I want to go to Calgary, I want to settle in for a year, I want to be close to my mom, and I want to be able to say 'I'm home' and have the stay be longer then the time away.
I have so many big dreams; so many life goals. I want the 2 story house, 5 dogs, maybe a kid or two (and that's a maybe), a nice car, some wide open space and solitude, a job I love in a place I can hope to call home. I want people in the industry to know my name. I want to drive in from my acreage to attend Galas,shows, and events. I want to be known.
But I want to stay at home curled up on the couch or walk hand and hand with a husband around our land with the dogs in tow. And I want to be able to call my mom every single weekend until I am at least 55 to talk about our weeks.
I want a place to call home and I want the people I love to be there.
From what I hear, a job in advertising often crosses the line from 'I work to live' to 'I live to work'. Don't get me wrong, I love advertising and the entire process and the late nights and the 'aha' moments and the long long long periods in between those 'aha' moments, and I plan to work extremely hard to get to a point in my life and career where I can say I have it all, I just hope I can fit in what really matters.
Excuse this heartfelt blog entry. The house I was born in is being torn down soon to make room for infills and there is some sickness in my family that scares me. I am just trying to cope with being away and cutting the ties of my youth in order to form knots onto the ropes of my future - a future I am very anxious to start.
I also suppose that my nearly windowless basement apartment is not helping in the slightest. Nor is the fact that my brothers birthday is tomorrow and I will not be around to celebrate. On top of the fact that my parents are going away for a vacation during the time that I will actually be home for holidays.
However! My boyfriend will be coming to visit me this weekend to stay for a nice visit and I am really hoping it will pull me out of this slump. Give me something/someone to hold on to. See hope in his eyes.
I have no doubt in my mind that I will be successful in whichever career path I choose; I am responsible, driven, enthusiastic, and rarely give up. But the thing I want to be successful at is living life to the fullest, and that means spending every spare minute with family and friends and traveling the world.
I suppose this is why I am dreaming of the life of a freelance writer; a career in which I can feel productive and successful (because anyone that knows me knows I do not put down work until it is completed), while still being able to have time for all of the important things.
In conclusion... I want to be a combination of Carrie from 'Sex and the City' and Leigh Anne Touhy from 'The Blind Side'. These women are my idols. Carrie for the career and fun, Leigh Anne Touhy for the personality and life. Hopefully one day when people think of these two women in conjunction 'Sarah Kirkpatrick' will be the hybrid.